This was supposed to be a post about my experience of the combination of motherhood and working. I had intended it to coincide with International Women’s Day and I had hoped to share my thoughts on that precarious and meaningful balancing act with you.
I still intend to address this topic in the coming posts, but today, I am conscious of time.
The clocks have gone forward one hour in Western Europe and I find myself conflicted at having lost an hour. I am conscious of the time lapsed since my last post, the time spent doing one thing while regretting not doing another, and not taking the time to reflect, write, share and appreciate my journey.
When I don’t take the time to sit down and think I feel rushed and time seems to move faster. I am pushed to meet deadlines everyday, some I meet, others are impossible to meet and I need to let them go. These deadlines I am constantly chasing, under the tyranny of the clock and the dictates of my diary, stop me from living in the now.
What does it mean to live in the now?
To me it means, taking the time, stepping back from all those things that we are meant to be doing, and paying attention to the things we want to be doing and should be doing.
Every so often we need to take the time to think about the things that might truly change our lives.
Dennis Potter, in his last interview sums it up brilliantly when he says:
“We all, we’re the one animal that knows that we’re going to die, and yet we carry on paying our mortgages, doing our jobs, moving about, behaving as though there’s eternity in a sense. And we forget or tend to forget that life can only be defined in the present tense; it is, and it is now only…However predictable tomorrow is, and unfortunately for most people, most of the time, it’s too predictable, they’re locked into whatever situation they’re locked into … Even so, no matter how predictable it is, there’s the element of the unpredictable, of the you don’t know. The only thing you know for sure is the present tense, and that nowness becomes so vivid that, almost in a perverse sort of way, I’m almost serene. You know, I can celebrate life.“
It was in exactly such a moment of reflection, nearly 3,5 years ago, that I decided to change direction in my life, by accepting the position of Communications Director of Greenpeace International. My journey from VP Communications of Statoil to leading the communications department of one of the most visible environmental campaigning organisations has been incredible – hell, who am I kidding? It’s been a mad-amazing-exciting-challenging-crazy-emotional-love affair, but rewarding, always extremely rewarding.
We all need to carve out the time to reflect and find the space to look within ourselves and make sure we are doing what we want to be doing, that we are surrounded by people who add to our lives and to whose lives we are adding. Juggling multiple roles and responsibilities can feel like a tightrope act, and I am never really sure whether I will get there, but I gingerly place one foot in front of the other, because I know I am doing what I love.
Inge Wallage 